Happy New Year!! With the fresh New Year here, it is a good time evaluate the people in our lives and our relationship to them. New Years resolutions tend to be directed toward weight-loss, but there is something to be said about our mental health too. That can be reflected in the company we keep and our happiness in that regard.
I am speaking specifically of toxic people. There are a number of labels for toxic people. These aren’t people that you simply don’t like or are irritating. These are people who possess another dimension of misery and destruction that affects you. These people more often than not, fall under a psychological label. Specifically I am talking about Sociopaths and Narcissists. Labeling this type of toxic person can actually be really helpful in understanding what the problem is. Once something is labeled, at least in your own mind, then it is easier to take care of yourself in relationship to them. Two books that I highly recommend for understanding the psychological issues of Narcissism and Sociopathy are: The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout and The Narcissist You Know, by Joseph Burgo. With a significant portion of the population functioning under these anti-social limitations, you are bound to encounter someone, like this, at some point.
Everyone has someone (or a few someones) in their lives that are toxic. My only hope for you is that they are distant and you can control your interaction with them. But what about those people that you have to deal with? How do you protect yourself from those people? How do you release yourself from the misery of toxic people.
One of the first issues is to educate yourself on these types of people. Once you realize that there is a problem and that it isn’t your fault. This realization frees you to understand that your peace is SO important and that your mind and heart are more important to protect. When you realize that there is a problem, you have to decide what is more important; and the answer is that YOU are more important. The toxic person is manipulating you and wasting your precious energy and time. Ultimately this will leave you feeling bad and will pull terribly on your health and well-being.
Secondly, you have to pray for the courage and then act in ways to stand up for yourself and for what is ACTUALLY important in your life. This is short term pain and long term peace. This will make you feel strong and feel good about yourself.
Third, seek the light. Seek happy things, people and activities to build yourself up. Don’t reside in the negativity that your toxic person thrives on. In fact if you become full of enough light, you will be totally intolerable to them and you will find it is much easier to extricate yourself from their grasp. To help in this
area I strongly recommend Shanti Shanti’s Enhance Album. This will build you up, center you and fill you will light. Click here to listen to samples. With the strength you will find here you can say “I am doing something different now! I am going to take charge of my part in this unhealthy relationship and make it stop!”
Finally, breathe and stay the course and don’t let yourself go back to that unhealthy situation. Repeat the above steps until the changes have been made in your life. I find that maintaining myself and my strength with toxic people is an on-going process and these are the steps that I use as well.
Have a wonderful and healthy New Year! May God bless you with happiness and abundance!